I always wondered what if would be like to start there and work my way back.

I want to see the moment I die and fit together the pieces that led to my demise.

I've imagined it a thousand different ways.

How would I die?

Who will discover me?

Tell my parents?

Tell my friends?

The people I passed?

Who will react and how?

Will I suddenly become a saint, good person, student and friend?

Would I be "outed" in death?

Would the horrible truth of me be revealed?

I plan to be the centre of attention when it happens.

Throughout the impact, aftermath and mouring of Riggs.

So do I count the days?

Work, rest and play...

And count?

Or do I count on love?

Rough, unreliable, rude, brusque love.

Or do I count the days?